Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the condom got lost in my hair
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
