Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize