Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
