I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
