Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
