How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
