it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
