just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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