Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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