Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
