You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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