Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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