I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
