If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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