You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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