this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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