my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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