you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
