Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
