Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
