I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
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