Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
