I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
