You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
