So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
