nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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