i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
