Just cropdusted the office
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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