No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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