I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
