yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
