I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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