It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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