it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
