someone get that fucking seahorse.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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