I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
