Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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