I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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