I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
