her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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