I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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