I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I have post one night stand depression
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