god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
its not stalking. its research.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
