I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
