I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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