He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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