I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
