Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
third nipple confirmed
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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