I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Come see our sink grown plant.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
