Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
