Apparently you make a good broom.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Life is so much better after having sex.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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