Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
