ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
