remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
