I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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