The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
