If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
