I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize