hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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