i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
