Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
