Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize