Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
