now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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